love

Love is not always happy ending…Once, I ever loved someone, he never loved me J. i loved him a year. Guess what I got? J Nothing, I was so hurt with everything what he did unconsciously. I didn’t want to complain, but frankly, it was so hurt. i started trying to forgive but not forget. Forgive different then forget. Years went by, I began forgetting whatever about him, such as his phone number, his things that I used to know past ago. I started releasing that stuff; I got myself very busy with school and my future plan. I’m organizing my stuff that I have to work on, which is good. I’m sacred to fall in love again. I don’t want to. Since, it was once happened in my life, I had that trauma thing. I thought happiness doesn’t come from a relationship anyway. Happiness is a choice, isn’t it? I promised to myself, hey dude…I can live without you!!!i’m not going to call him anymore, any longer. I don’t even want to have any relation as friends with him at all. That’s it. Everyone deserves the best. Life only once, it’s ok to become high expectation. Yet, no one is perfect. I think I want to be single for good, do u think it’s a good idea? Live full of love of God, and take my parents travelling around the world with me until I become old.

settle down

I need to settle down. I’m looking for an apartment. I want to own it, buy it, under my name, Wenny Pariury. I’m glad I’ve grown up beyond measure. I save my money little by little to pay my college tuition, my apartment. I was thinking to buy an apartment in the US, since I think I’m going to take mom and dad to live with me in the US. I want to make them happy, live in a better place, better environment, good food, comfortable, good circumstances. I will work hard to bring them with me. Parents are everything for me. I’m so grateful I don’t come from a very rich family, but I do grateful that dad taught me how to appreciate money, use money wisely. Daddy always said, “hidup tidak selalu diatas selamanya, kalo kamu susah, teman cumin bisa bilang,”kasihan yah..”keberhasilan, kamu yang tentukan sendiri, mau berusaha apa enggaknya kamu yang tentukan”. Daddy….i love you…thank you for leading me….kita nggak pernah tau hidup kita 5 tahun mendatang……

My goals on 2009

My goal on 2009, i want to buy an apartment for me... :), on december 2009, i'm going to take my parents to NY...while attending my dream school, VIRGINIA TECH UNIVERSITY. Uuh...got to wait til April 1 to come...It's going to be a big day in my life...lol...i'm thinking...my dreams are great, yet...how am i going to pay my tuition. My saving is not enough to pay full tuition.By the contrast, i promised my parents that i'm going to pay my tuition with no help from them at all. Since, the crisis, somehow, i'm feeling that too, the impact itself...

I guess, when i get there, to the US..all i can say is...i'm paying the tuition by my FAITH.

family

2009!!!boom..boom…lol..i’m getting old…not really..i’m getting 21 years old..yeah….i’ve been traveling around Indo..it’s been fun, great, but also tiring me…J I won’t complain anyway…well, the flight was delayed 5 hours that was pissed me off, I still calmed down in the airport. Time goes really fast..i can’t believe it almost at the end of January. I’m going to Shanghai on feb 15th, 2009. I will be there for 6 months. I’m excited but still, a little part of my heart, I can’t leave my parents away from me. My heart is just too deep with all the love that I have to take them with me. I have been keeping all the letters that I wrote to mom and dad. I’m going to give them, before I leave to the US on July. I’m going to leave for years even years…I thankful to dad and mom to provide such a great home in Indo. My brother…thank you bro…u took me wherever I want to go…then u picked me up…Thank You bro..!!! You are awesome, man…over time, I felt bad though…I used to do everything by my own, take a bus, during in Indo, I acted silly J so you can take me to my favorite places in Indo, Surabaya. Thank You!!!:)

Family is the greatest gift from God to my life, our life….Friends can come and go, family always there…Friends can change, family never change…J.

money?

I talked to one of my friend the other night. We introduced ourselves as the way it is. Half way of the conversation, she began talking about her successes in her works and stuff. The first time I saw her, one thing came up of my mind, this lady is PERFECT. I know that no body is perfect!!! At this point, I mean, to look at “the way world see”, she is considered PERFECT, she has money, she is pretty, her appearance…Nice, up to date man…J, she comes from “a well educated family, she graduated from overseas….if I were a man, perhaps, I will definitely fall in love with her. She is PRETTY. Back to the conversation, after talking with her, my friend told me that she is one of the guy’s favorite girl…what!!!!????oh well, guys….

Another friend of mine, I met her in a mall, she looked happy, it seemed for me she has all the happiness that people are looking for. Days went by, I surprised she called me at night, do you know, her voice sounds odd for me, she was crying on the phone; she asked for a help, I offered her a help as a friend. Since, we are far away, indeed, I couldn’t go back to my country and help her. So, I told her that now, I could only help her by phone, as a listener. She shared all her problems that she has been struggle in. Oh my gosh….i was like an innocent person. I couldn’t say a word from my mouth. I shutted my mouth off. Life is tough, it’s definitely short, what we sometimes think of others doesn’t always as it appears to be. Sometimes it’s totally the opposite. For instance, I have finished my reading by Malcolm Gladwell, The power of thinking without thinking, according to the research when the experts tested the pepsi and Cola, everybody in the trial room took a snap judgment that Cola must be good. Guess what??it’s absolutely wrong. Research has proved that Pepsi is up in public and marketplace than cola, as a matter of fact, the appearance of Pepsi by that time was not as nice as Cola, but people assumed that Cola must be the best because “the brand”.

Isn’t wonderful?yes it is…I’m glad after listening to my friend’s problem, struggle of life, the way the live, I think I thank to God, the way He created me. I know, I know that I’m not that perfect, not that pretty, not that rich, not very stupid J, not very guffy J, I don’t have everything that my friends have, :D however, I have a strong love to my family, and my best friends. I don’t think money is everything. I just thought that money is just a facility that given to us by God, to get what we need NOT what we want. Money is not a source of happiness. I admitted myself money is something sensitive to talk about, yet, it’s undeniable! Everybody needs money, don’t we? I’m grateful that in time, God taught me and let me walked through the tough of life, therefore, I could appreciate the Life. I’m glad God sent me among people who stand the opposite of me, therefore, He taught me unconsciously, even I don’t have those things, one that I can proud of, is I’m not depending on my parents, I’m not depending100% to money, I stand for what I have, and let the God works for the rest of it, I’m confident enough with what have given to me, no matter how much money. He taught me how to spend money wiselyJ. I’m grateful that God has placed me in a right spot. Well, honestly, it’s not a comfort zone, J I am human being too, if I want, I can definitely yell at God why He placed me in this spot. OF Course I can’t. But, the point is I’m in learning process. I decided to my parents for letting me go. I would like them to trust me; I know what I’m doing. I don’t want to depend on them anymore.

In the other day, my friend called me; she talked about relationship with a guy. Well, I had no comment. She went on and on….i was pretty good listener I think…J again, I concluded that I would rather not to have a relationship just because of money, and go to every club to find a right guy….oh well…everybody is different though…that’s just my understanding. By the way, I got an email from my friend, I let her know, that I’m going back next year…while, she is in her project to graduate. I let her I will keep going…J..hihihihi…..she tought that I’m insane…J…yes, I’m insane…hahhahaha…

dreams

Indo…indo…I’ve been home almost a month. I’ve been meeting my family except those who live in overseas. I got together with my brother and sister, my friends. I feel so useless at home..lol…during the weekdays, mom and dad at work, my friends always on campus all day long. We chat by text message, by phone. Lol…sometimes, I’ll come with my dad to work with him, if he needs me as a translator in a meeting. Otherwise, I need to stay at home. Lol…I keep reading my book, I have finished research my school, and I’m waiting from them to give me the visa. J.
Yesterday, in the morning, dad woke me up a 6.30am to have breakfast together before he went to work. Oh daddy….so sweet!!! I used to live by myself for almost 7 years. I barely visited him. Now, I’m 20 years old, no longer a kid. He knows that I can’t be controlled anymore. Hahahahha…in fact, the breakfast hasn’t ready yet. Oh well, I’m going to cook American breakfast for him. Lol…he likes it though!!!(sip!! Not to stupid for simple cooking lha yah...)me? I got cereal and milk. He kept looking at me and asked: “makan ini setiap hari di us?” yoiiii…
We talked about my childhood. Lol…I looked so dumb. Interestingly, we had the same beverages, coffee….he was shocked, when he saw me had a cup of coffee. Hahahhaha…he asked me, “when did you start drinking coffee?” …”dad, I love coffee... (=P). In time, I’m mad that my parents are always busy all the time. But I do understand them. I won’t blame my parents with their busyness of working. I’m so grateful, i grown up this way, even they are busy with their jobs, and I take it as blessings. Sometimes, they have no time for their children, but we, three siblings, are so proud of PARIURY. I’m so blessed, live within my family; even they taught me discipline in life. They taught us everything. For me, they are angels. We’re all like to work. Somehow, the hobby of working came from the previous generation of pariury…hahaha. Days later, my dream is, I want to take my parents to NY, USA and live with me.

all these...

The USA’s economy is falling down. G-7 has been signed in the US to help financial crisis in the world. $1=Rp 9,900. aarrrgghh….I think I need to bury my goals. J. I’m putting myself at the very risky situation. I thought I’m able to make things happen, without depending on the big boss here. As I thought again, oh well, I’m preparing myself if things won’t work out as I desired to be. i desperately asking God, what should I do, if things won’t work out…I don’t want to cry and being disappointed for the whole year while blaming the crisis in the world and God because the situation isn’t friendly enough to let me make things happen. Long before I got back in Indo, I have written the Plan A and Plan B.
Plan A seem doesn’t work out very well. Let’s move to Plan B. J My dreams still alive, I just have to find other ways to make those happen; I’m Crossing the bridge across. J I talked to my aunt over the phone; she planned a plan C to me which makes sense for me. I thought I need a huge courage to support my goals to make it happens. My desire to take my parents to the United States is my dreamJ...hihihi…

Last Sunday night I couldn’t get sleep very well, I woke up at midnight; I had a cup of hot chocolate and get a book to read. I started researching for other alternatives in the internet, I almost worrying a lot of things….i closed my eyes and prayed, what a blessed, I knew it was Him. God remained me years ago, when he helped me, walked with me, talked to me, he visualized me with things that He has ever done to me. what needs to be worried He gave an incredible love. I knew the only person that I could ask and answer is GOD. I prayed “God, I’m sure you won’t let the bad things happen, You know exactly what I need, don’t you?” I will do the best I could. I’ve been so blessed, so loved, no need to worry…a father always knows the best for His son. Don’t we believe so?

I saw my dad how he works very hard, i’m proud of my dad. I really do..i continued my prayer and asked God to let my parents know, although I live far away from home, I want them to know, I love them with whole my heart, I’m going to do the best. The decision that I made that created consequences, I’ll be “in duty” with those consequences. J

The passion of vision

The passion of vision

I’m reading my book by Stephen Covey; I’m working on chapter 5. It’s talking about VISION. The power of vision is incredible. It says Vision is the best manifestation of creative imagination and the primary motivation of human action. It’s the ability to see beyond our present reality, to create, to invent what does not yet exist, to become what we not yet are. It gives us capacity to live out of our imagination instead of our memory. All we have to know in terms of VISION is consequences. Vision creates consequences; it also affects choices we make. It’s limited. In time, we know our goals, but we need to accept the consequence. Each individual in the world should have personal mission statement. It described as a company or corporation that always has their mission statement to empower their employees to achieve organizational goals in a company. Once, we do what our goals are, we are taking steps, while taking steps we will be faced with some realities that we need to deal with, then we realize that we have to sacrifice or put those things aside in our head in order to accomplish our vision. While we are on the way of accomplishing what we want to be, some scripts come up, such as the reality when people say negative things toward us.

Vision clarifies purpose, gives direction, and empowers us to perform beyond our resources. It also could be described as passion, it effect in our lives, it drives our DNA of lives. It’s fire within, it’s the energy that makes life an adventure-the deep burning “yes!” that empowers us to say “no” peacefully and confidently-to the less important things in our lives. What if we could make things balance, to be succeed in two things in our lives? Rather than put something aside, such as succeed in business and relationship. Do they work out together?

When I read this part, I was reminded by one of my friend at work where I used to work. We used to go lunch together, do some exercise together. She is business woman, but also a part time worker likes me. She works two jobs. She is really succeeded in her career; the thing is she feels nothing about relationship. She never thought about getting married at all, as a matter of fact, what women ideally think on her ages is getting married, I thought so. After I found out, in a time, she told me everything that I never thought about that she had a trauma in her relationship long time ago. Then, from then she decided to stop thinking about it, she doesn’t ever want to think about it. Being success in her career is just on the top of her head. She doesn’t care about anything else, except family. Her vision is to get a better lifestyle, a better place to stay for her and her family. Her personal mission statement has been driven her lives. She stands confidently because she believes that what she is doing is right. Once upon a time, we were having lunch together, she spontaneously asked me, “do you have a boyfriend wenny?” I answered “no, I don’t”. She said to me “don’t ever think about wenny”. I smiled to her, while I kept thinking about it. I thought she probably right. There is a time for every time; we can’t do everything at the same time. Can we? I also thought that one day later, she will find the right person into her life to live with last forever. Don’t we think so? We just don’t know when. She just has to open her heart to let a better chance to come. In contrast, I was thinking, don’t I think that God is fair enough to human being? We can’t always get everything that we want in our lives. Some people success in business but failed in relationship, success in relationship but failed in business. Have we seen people who success in both things. I’m wondering…

Back to the point of vision, a friend of mine…she is so energetic, she has extroverted personality. Before I left the office and the USA, she wrote a card to me saying that “whatever comes from your heart, think deeply, if you think that it’s right, do it and fight for it, fight for what you deserve” wow! I thought she just visualized me. It’s a vision. Fighting for what we believe in. even it’s not exist yet. She added on the card that just act as if I have already had those things. J

I did my research about vision. I just learned that once we have a vision in our life, it affects our brain. It synchronizes our brain then drives our DNA. As a result whatever we are doing driven from that vision. It was great!! Couple days went by a day before I left the USA, when I got back from NY, on sept 29th, 2008 we met up again to have going away lunch at panera bread. I said thank you to her and asked her that “are those words you wrote on the card exactly what driving you now?” she perfectly said to me “yes, exactly”. Wow!!! I was so glad that I met the right person on my last day in the USA. She inspired me. She told me everything that I have never known before about vision. My vision works within me, so do you. Each us must have a vision in our lives. We got to know our vision. Once we recognized it by learning our inner passion, get an immediate access to it, believe that it’s alive within us, it drives us, let it improves our quality of life.

One thing should not be forgotten that let God get involve with it. Our vision and relationship with God is like interrelated. People can plan everything, but God has power to determine what the best for us. Like I said above, our vision drives us by motivating our ability to go beyond the standard of life. Meanwhile, God is working behind the scene. He is in charge in that vision. God leads us to do what is right, tells us what is wrong.